Several types of rape

Most rapes take place within couples. Some of them are what is known as “acquaintance rapes” in which the parties may perhaps have got to know one another over the course of the evening, while a small proportion are “assault rapes” where the perpetrator is unknown. We also have what I call “youth rape”. This type of assault is characterised by the fact that it takes place between young people of similar ages who’ve known one another previously. Alcohol is almost always involved. The parties might both be part of the same gang, be in the same class at school or even boyfriend-girlfriend. Maybe they’ve been pushed into having sex at a party, on a trip to a cabin or at some major outdoor gathering on 17 May, . Hans, New Year’s Eve, etc.

As a rule, no force or violence is used, but a No isn’t respected. The young woman can’t or doesn’t dare to put up any particular resistance, but hopes he’ll finish off as soon as possible. All she wants to do is forget what happened, and blames herself later on for not putting up more of a fight. Fear of the parents, friends and others close by finding out what’s happened is pretty enormous as a rule, and these young people do everything they can to conceal what’s happened. This type of assault is difficult to report: it’s the guy’s word against the girl’s, and these cases can easily be dropped due to a lack of evidence.

It’s often impossible to gather evidence because the girl has washed, thrown away or burned everything she was wearing that day. Even her shoes and bags are thrown away or otherwise destroyed. The victim showers and removes the traces that way, and as a rule they also leave it a while before they can bring themselves to confide in someone and tell them what’s happened.

One thing young women who’ve fallen victim to youth rape have in common is the fact that it’s difficult to persuade them to talk to the police, a doctor, psychologist or other organisations than can offer help, treatment and follow-up. The younger they are, the harder it seems to be to persuade them to seek help. As a rule, they don’t want their parents to be involved, maybe because they’ve been drinking. They feel it’s more of a risk if the mother and father find out they’ve been drinking, rather than knowing they’ve been raped, and so they keep their problems to themselves. This group has undergone a marked increase over the past 2–3 years, and the girls are getting steadily younger – many are just 12 or 13 years old at the time of the assault. It often takes a long time before they dare to get in touch with someone and ask for help. By then, most things will have gone wrong for them. They’ll have problems at home, at school, with their friends. Some of the girls also have problems with eating disorders. Even if the youngest ones often don’t want to take part in discussion groups or get help other than one-on-one chats, they often want me to come to their schools and chat about youth rape in general. Then I either talk to her class, or I talk to all the classes at lower secondary level. Schools are always really positive about these talks. Some girls also want me to be the one who tells their mother and father about the assault, and of course I’m happy to help with this.

Young men can also be subject to youth rape where the attacker is a member of the gang, often a slightly older boy. But it’s very rare for boys to dare to make contact with the public assistance agencies. Their cases eventually emerge in other contexts, once they’ve grown up and dare to tell people about the assault. Unfortunately, only a few boys have got in touch with DIXI for one-on-one chats. Some of them want to talk to a man, and so we can’t help them here at DIXI. We don’t have separate discussion groups for boys, but we do always try to refer them on in the system so that they can get professional help from the Institute for Clinical Sexology and Therapy in Oslo, for example.

It’s extremely important to get advice and guidance following a rape. Get in touch with the DIXI Resource Centre, the health visitor for upper secondary school or the local crisis centre!